Things to Let Go of TODAY in Order to Feel Better About Your Current Situation

What you want and what you need are two different things. Obviously this isn’t new information but it’s important to ponder over occasionally. ESPECIALLY, if you are in an unhappy place in life. For a lot of us, the dating limbo isn’t exactly pleasant if you are on the hunt for a real deal- long term relationship. There’s so many ups’n’downs and false starts that the excitement of finding the one quickly fades. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in pursuing your happily ever after that your wanting to find someone becomes needing to find someone. That’s when the misery begins. A powerful need can push you toward desperation and unhealthy compromise, if you aren’t careful. You just can’t do that; it never ends well. The best defense against that spiral is learning to be satisfied with your here and now. Sure, you can WANT to find a special someone, just not NEED to have someone to feel good about your life. No one actually enjoys talking or even thinking about this stuff, so if you’ve found yourself struggling with an overwhelming desire to find someone, I’ve made a little list of things to let go of today that just might set you back on the right path.  

Feeling sorry for yourself. 

Look, I know this will be an unpopular opinion in certain circles but most people don’t have to look very far to find others living with life circumstances more dire than their own. I’m not saying that you must ignore your feelings when life gets you down, just don’t stay stuck wallowing in your misery indefinitely. We all fall into the sticky trap of “woah is me,” from time to time and the quickest way out is gratitude. Get in the habit of reminding yourself  what you have to be thankful for. Set alarms on your phone if you have to!  For me, it helps to make physical lists, not just mental ones. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, unless you need it to be; just jot down a few things you are grateful for a couple of times a day or when you find yourself standing at the edge of the pit of self pity. You can never go wrong with focusing on the good in your life. 

Comparing your life to someone else's

Stop it. Stop right now. You hear me? I mean it. Stop. You know darn well that no one’s life is perfect, even if it looks like it.  My Daddy told me one time, “girl, you drive your tractor and let them drive theirs.” Spoiler alert, he wasn't actually talking about a literal tractor, he was telling me to mind my own business but I’ve found that I can apply that little nugget of wisdom in a lot of places. My “tractor” has hit some bumps, veered way off course, lost a wheel and got back in the right lane again so many times that I’ve lost count. It’s really hard not to look at someone else who has stayed the course and done it all just right and not be a little envious of their success. But let me tell you something, with every mishap and misfortune I’ve learned some REALLY important lessons. I’ve gained a lot of wisdom, life experience and confidence in my ability to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back on track. I bet you have to! Think about that for a minute. You’ve done pretty good for yourself, haven’t you?  Keep on chugging, buddy. You’re doing just fine.

Don’t Borrow Trouble

My Momma used to say that phrase to me all that time when I was a kid. Unfortunately, I didn’t fully comprehend it until I was well into adulthood when I added another couple of words to her well worn advice. “Don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow.” To me that means, you just can’t worry about things that might happen or could go wrong in the future. The only moment you have any semblance of control over is the exact one you are living in, so don’t worry about what comes next. Yes, of course, you have to do some planning for the future, but you know you can’t control it all completely. The Good Book even tells us that worrying is useless,”Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:25). Don’t waste your time thinking about what could go wrong; think about what could go right or just don’t give it much thought at all. Just do the best you can with the time you are given and spend most of your energy living in the moment. 

Fairytales and Fantasies 

Ahh. Happily ever after. I have no idea what little boys dream of when they think about growing up and doing grown up things but little girls (mostly) think they’ll get a white knight on a fast horse and probably a castle. By now you’ve figured out that that's not likely going to happen. Adult women (and men) still get wrapped up in our own “fairytales,” though. Whether it’s the “perfect” man or dream job or having a 3-course dinner on the table every night when we come home, we’ve all got an idea of what our perfect life would look like. You should 100% have dreams and goals and a lifestyle to work toward, but just make sure it’s realistic. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by demanding that the only life worth living is one where you have it all. Take a big notice of the little things in life that make you happy and don’t get so caught up in striving for perfection that you miss out on the imperfections that make your -world unique and beautiful. 

This advice is nothing new, y’all. You’ve heard it all before, but sometimes we need reminding, ya know? I know it’s hard to stay grounded when you just want to find the one and start living the dream together. But you got to, though. You have to be patient and maybe get happy with the way things are for the time being. The best news is I don’t know a single person who isn’t attracted to happy people. 

Now, get out there and get happy!

Love y’all and good luck,

Kelly Ann